BY: SIDONIA CANNON, STAFF WRITER Editor’s Note: The following is not a transcription of a real press conference. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have issued new guidelines to diminish the spread of the coronavirus. CDC spokesman Benjamin…
BY ALEX MADAJIAN, CONTRIBUTOR Editor’s note: This piece is a work of satire. Today, I’ve decided to become an atheist. That means I am now defined by what I don’t believe. Now it doesn’t mean I don’t stand for anything,…
Mason robots complete their goal of total control BY DE’ANDRE DARBY, STAFF WRITER As the sun rises in the morning, the site of tens of thousands of tired college students shuffling across the concrete is in clear view. When a…
After a slew of problems with demolition, the Mason construction estimate has been moved back to 2060 BY TRAVIS MCMILLAN, STAFF WRITER Mason has heard all of your complaints about the construction, in particular both how difficult it has made…
BY AHMED FARID George “The Statue” Mason WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT MASON? Obviously, the fact that it is named after me is my favorite thing about GMU. Not a lot of people can say that they have a large…
From Digital Affair to Interpersonal Reluctance, Two Youngsters Are Caught in Identity Crises BY KIM BARTENFELDER, STAFF WRITER Dear Ivy, My girl best friend, let’s call her E, recently created a fake online dating profile for fun. My guy…
Confusion sparks among third floor Middle Eastern and South Asian community BY BASMA HUMADI, LEO SUN LIBRA MOON It was any other ordinary Tuesday in the Johnson Center (JC), and sophomore Bradson Tanner needed a place to study. Tanner grabbed…
Rating the Water Fountains of George Mason University BY ALEXANDER SHEDD, ASSISTANT CULTURE EDITOR In this column, I will rate the wonderful world of Mason’s water fountains using five quality categories: Water Pressure, Usability, Stream Consistency, Location and Presentation. Johnson…
Monday, March 25 In an effort to resurrect his father, George W. Bush sacrifices Jeb Bush on an altar at the family’s ranch in Texas. President Trump skips out on meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un to watch…
Students complain Mason “too transparent” BY ABIGAIL ADCOX THE ASSISTANT On Tuesday, March 26, students received an email from Mason PD alerting them to a suspect allegedly groping female students, which occurred in several residence halls on campus in 1993….