Move over JMU and VT BY OWEN FERGUSON, SCRIBE If you’ve ever lived on campus or eaten in the dining halls at Mason, you know the food all too well. If we’re being honest, it’s pretty great, not to mention the…
BY CHRIS KERNAN-SCHMIDT, ACTIONS AND REPERCUSSIONS ADVISOR I have never found myself a fan of the traditional 12-point font, New Times Roman jazz. It has always felt too boring, and if I’m being honest, too easy to read. When peers, professors…
JACE WHITE, MASTER OF THE BUCKHOUNDS Anyone who pays attention to Mason’s Student Government will know that the organization has had quite an embarrassing year. Though some members have tried to keep the body focused on its original mission, too…
BY DOMINIC PINO, BROOMSQUIRE I’m just going to say what everyone is already thinking: this country needs John Delaney to be president of the United States. If you haven’t heard anyone say that, I would ask if you’ve heard of the…
SUSAN KATHERINE CORKRAN, MYSPACE OUTREACH DIRECTOR Presidents of the United States have left their immortal words behind —written beautifully on parchment in the Declaration of Independence, spoken with mournful bravery on the field of Gettysburg or broadcasted boldly to a…
BY SUMMER BROWN, PROFESSIONAL LUMBERJACK You know what? When I came back from spring break and noticed the trees gone, I realized something. I realized something so incredibly important that I was beside myself for days on end. What did…
Sports editor quits after realizing no one else in the office knows what a sport is BY NATALIE HEAVREN, THE UCONN WOMEN ARE NOT BAD FOR BASKETBALL Faux Estate will begin the intergalactic search for a new Sports Editor after,…
Mason Athletics Invents New Sport, Will Play Themselves at the Division I Level BY ALEXANDER SHEDD, ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Mason Athletics announced the creation of a new sport last week, Patriotball, and immediately played against their own team in a…
Gunston and the Patriot to duel in lightsaber battle to decide the mascot for the 2019-’20 season BY DOMENIC ALLEGRA, THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS ARE STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS As many people know, the Patriot has been our university’s mascot since 2007….
BY ALEXANDRIA MCALPINE The biggest concern in sports today is which fabric jerseys are made out of, obviously. The polyester basketball jerseys are soooo three years ago. Also two years ago. And last year and this year, as well….