Movie Review: Titanic

The importance of learning to share


Editor’s Note: This piece is a work of fiction written for Fourth Estate’s satire issue, Faux Estate.

Fourth Estate/Billy Ferguson

As is usual for Fourth Estate on the Slate, we explore contemporary films that we think fly under the radar or are important to the times. So with all this extra time I have on my hands, I have started looking online for new movies that may have slipped through the cracks. One such movie that I stumbled across was this box office failure called “Titanic.”

The reason I watched this relatively unknown film was because in these strange times we live in, watching fun, uplifting movies is one of the best ways to stay positive. By all indications “Titanic” was supposed to fall into this canon: a romantic movie about people who meet on a ship, fall in love and get married. Turns out, it is not that kind of movie. 

The main character Jack, played by a young, lesser-known actor named Leonardo DiCaprio, is a poor American artist (who, despite not having a dime to his name, somehow managed to travel all over Europe) who wins two tickets to the America-bound Titanic. 

On the ship the other main character, Rose — played by an actress whose name I don’t remember — is incredibly depressed over the fact that when they arrive in America, she will have to marry a millionaire who seems to be genuinely into her. This thought leads her to almost jump off the ship, only to be saved by Jack. Afterwards, the two begin a love story for the ages.

So far the movie provided a welcome distraction from all the craziness we’ve been living in. But then out of nowhere (literally out of nowhere) an iceberg appeared and I was forced to watch as the thousands of people on the boat scrambled to try and save their lives.

To be fair, I should’ve seen this part coming. It seemed suspicious that every single character could not shut up about the “unsinkable” ship. Also the fact that this movie was directed by the same guy who gave us “The Terminator” should’ve been a warning sign. But still, it was a shock!

What I cannot forgive is the ending. After the ship breaks in half, and our two lovebirds are left in the freezing water, they find a wooden raft that could definitely save both their lives. But no. For some reason that I cannot understand, Rose decides to take the raft all to herself, leaving the guy she had just fallen in love with to die. 

Now, for the few of you who have seen this movie, you might be saying, “But he tried to get on the raft.” No he didn’t! He tried once, lost balance and never tried again. What was the saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, just give up and never try again?”

Anyway, if you’re bored and looking for a movie to watch, here’s one for you; it was OK, I guess. It’s long, and it’ll depress you, but at least the soundtrack is pretty good.