Fourth Estate/Madalyn Godfrey

Three ways to help grow confidence in saying ‘no’

BY MADALYN GODFREY, OPINION EDITOR

We have all been there. It doesn’t matter who we are or what type of person we are; we have all been in a situation where we want to say “no” so badly but have difficulty saying it.

Why is that?

Maybe it’s from the struggle of wanting to fit in, wanting to avoid confrontation or we don’t want to be seen as disrespectful. We live in a society that favors people-pleasing, and a “no” can lead to us losing romantic, platonic and professional relationships. 

Whatever that reason may be, here are three recommended ways to help you grow confidence in saying this underused word:

1. Practice, Practice, Practice

The easiest way to get better at doing something, or saying something for this matter, is by practicing. Luckily, you can easily practice alone in your home or dorm room. There are two exercises that I highly suggest that are a surefire way to increase your confidence.

The first exercise is what I like to call “Mirror Talk.”

It’s simple! All you do is stand in front of the mirror and repeat the word “no.” The more times you say it, the more you are comfortable using it. Comfortability is vital to feeling confident.

The second exercise is called “Jot it Down, Talk it Out.”

On paper, write out simple scenarios that would cause you to say “no.” After writing out each scenario, try reading them out loud and respond with a “no.” Similar to the first exercise, continue to practice until you feel comfortable.

2. Talk with a Trusted Friend

You are rarely alone in your desire to say “no.” You may often find that your friends have the same desires and difficulties. 

Talking with a trusted friend who understands can help you build confidence in saying “no” beyond the safety net of your home or dorm. In addition, you will have a partner that holds you accountable and supports you.

3. Understanding Your Right

The last and key way of building confidence in saying “no” is understanding your right to say it. It is not rude or mean to say “no.” You should not have to avoid saying  “no” because it makes other people feel bad. It is reasonable to put yourself first. Once you realize this, you can confidently say “no” whenever needed.

Using these three simple ways to grow confidence, you will see the difference in your life when you start saying “no.” This difference could make you much happier and freer than you can ever believe.